8th file, 8th picture!

Okay Chels, you're on! Here is my 8th file, 8th picture!



It is my adorable little great-niece, Natalie! I love this picture of her! :-D

Okay, tag Shan and Lace!

Stephanie & Christian

So, thanks Chelsea! I have become addicted to the Stephanie & Christian story and find myself checking her sister's blog every day for an update (they are the young Mesa Arizona couple who suffered horrendous burns in a plane crash on August 16th - they are both in critical condition in the Maricopa Arizona burn center and their four young children are being cared for by Stephanie's sister). It is such a sad and tragic story, and yet beautiful in the way that people from all over, including strangers and blog lurkers like me, are coming together to try to help this devastated family. I am both saddened and uplifted by the posts and this wonderful family teaches me a lot about love and sacrifice, faith and acceptance of God's will. Anyway, they are in my prayers every day, and I wanted to post this link to donate to help them with their incredible medical bills which I have read will run in the millions of dollars. If you can help in anyway, I know they are grateful! I am also including Stephanie's sister's blog where you can get updates on how the family is doing.

It's about time!

Well, I have gotten a number of comments that it's time for me to update my blog! I don't know if this is the right day to do it though because I have been feeling a little sad today. I have been lurking around on the "Stephanie and Christian" blog (the young couple that was badly burned in a plane crash in Arizona) and feeling very badly for everything that they have to go through. And, then today I heard that one of our former councilmen, Chris Copstead, who is just my age, in addition to having to deal with his wife having terminal Lou Gehrig's disease, is now having to deal with the death of his two newborn twin grandsons! My heart just hurts for him! Life is sure tough sometimes, and I guess the secret is to try not to dwell too much on the negative stuff that happens, although it is sure difficult at times because you feel like it is just all around you, and you feel kind of afraid like something bad is going to happen to you or to someone you love and there's just no escaping it! And I guess there really isn't any escaping it - that's the point. So, you try not to dwell on it, and you try to help others deal with the things they are going through, and you appreciate every good thing in your life and try not to take it for granted!

I am grateful for my awesome family - for my mom and dad and the almost 51 years that I have had them in my life! What a blessing to be able to grow old together! I am grateful for the example that they have always set for me, and for their positive outlook - I know things have been difficult for them and I know that they always try to put on a happy face for me - yeah, I'm no dummy, you can't fool me!!! :-D But, there is still much to be thankful for and every day that I have them in my life is precious to me!!

I am so grateful for my beautiful children. Every one, in their own special way, is my favorite! My dear Chelfee, who stomps and screams and stresses, and inside is just a sweet little girl who cares so much about everyone and doesn't know what to do with all of that. I pray that someday her dreams will come true and she will be a mom! My Shanzolie, the little scrapper whose independent streak is serving her very well as a military wife - I am so proud of her and for the great little family she has! My Lasone-poopone, who always loved her mommy, and is still here and sharing her babies with me. And my Bugs, who has given me great joy and great sadness at times, but who has always had such a great and kind heart and is slowly turning into the fine young man that I always knew he could be! And of course I have to mention my wonderful "in-laws" - Jeff, Tommy, Kelby, and Stephanie - I couldn't ask for better spouses for my kids!!

And then, if that weren't enough to be grateful for, to top it off I have four wonderful grandchildren, and a fifth due in two weeks! They are icing on my cake and truly my greatest happiness. I never thought that I could love my little grandchildren like that, but it is such a pure love without all of the worry and responsibility that parents have. Nothing but pure joy!

Here's a few photos of the little nubbins! I have a great school picture of Tabitha, but I'm too lazy to get off my hiney and scan it in! So, I will try to get a good photo of Tabs and post it soon! Anyway, here's my oldest grandson, Jordan:

Here is my
next oldest grandson, Jace:

And last, but not least, here is my littlest grandbaby, Jayden:

As you can see, I do have the most adorable grandchildren!

Hmm, what else. Work is good, another thing to be thankful for. I'm not much of a career person, but I do enjoy my job and feel comfortable with what I do. I love it when you get to the point in your job when there really isn't anything that is a big surprise to you. You almost always know what to do - that is a great feeling. They are still grooming me for the City Clerk's job, maybe in a couple of years. It's not an honor that I really want, but oh well, I guess you do what you have to do, and it will definitely mean a substantial raise and more benefits, so that is good for the old retirement nest egg!!

I am going to start working on Lillie Anne's blessing dress here shortly, maybe when I have my birthday holiday. I would just like an entire day to work on it in the peace and quiet. It has been awhile since I have sewn, but the dress is quite similar to the pillowcase dolls that I made some years back so I'm not too worried about it! I think it will turn out awesome!

Hmm, nope. I have nothing else. There, are you satisfied Chels?

For the kiddies!

Wow, it's been almost a month! Time sure does fly, it seems faster and faster the older you get! I thought I'd post a bit about what I've been up to and just some thoughts I've had. I'll say right off the top that these remarks are for my children, because I am waxing philosophical this evening and feeling a little preachy, so if that bothers anyone, I apologize!

Let's see, this month has been a busy one. I recently went to Boise for some clerk training. I had an absolutely miserable time and the shyness that has always been a stumbling block for me, and that I thought I had at least learned to deal with and control, reared its ugly head again. I think that I have learned to deal with my shyness when I am in familiar situations, i.e., church, work, etc., but in an unfamiliar situation or with people that I am not comfortable with, such as bosses, etc., I feel just like a shy, vulnerable 18 year old again. It's the worst feeling! I have always said, too, that it's been very hard being a shy, loner-type of person in a very social, community-oriented church. I always feel like the square peg in the round hole, and very aware of my own inadequacies! Of course, we all have crosses or thorns that we have to deal with. That is mine - always feeling out of place and awkward. You'd think at 50 I'd be at peace with it, but I've always felt it was a personal failing to be shy - it seems kind of a selfish way to be, always concerned with what others think about you, rather than being concerned about others. So, I struggle and I deal, most of the time!! :-D

Then, my beloved son left for Iraq yesterday - well, actually Kuwait for now, and then Iraq. This is the second time he has been deployed, and I feel a little nervous and afraid for him, probably even more so than last time because I know what he went through last time (well, at least I know what he told me, which probably wasn't even half of what he actually did go through!). But, although I feel nervous and afraid on the one hand, I also feel peaceful and calm, if you can believe that. I have no control over what experiences Josh will have over there, or what will happen to him, and maybe a few years ago that would have really bothered me, but I have since accepted that I have no control, and I am okay with that. I have shared this before, but for anyone interested, this is why . . .

As you all know, Lacey was involved in an automobile accident on August 30, 2001. It was a horrific accident and I heard from many people, including the highway patrolman, that it was amazing that she survived at all. I also managed to be "on the scene" of the accident, and was quite traumatized by everything that happened, including a long drive to the hospital following an ambulance that I believed was carrying my dead daughter, because they drove with no flashing lights and I assumed it was because they weren't in a hurry. I since found out that it was because of the lateness of the hour and the lack of traffic - but what did I know! So, after that trauma, about 6 days after Lacey came home from the hospital, 9-11 happened. I remember sitting in the livingroom, with my poor injured daughter downstairs sleeping, and watching the horror unfold in New York City. I was so afraid - I went into the bedroom and woke up Randy and we watched the two towers fall on the television. And then shortly after that, we received word that a major bridge that connected South Padre Island to the mainland of Texas had collapsed after an accident with a barge or towboat or something, and that Shannon and Tommy were stranded on the island. I just felt so crushed with the weight of everything and so afraid. The fear was just overwhelming!

In the midst of all of this, and dealing with doctors, and attorneys, and police officers, and trying to keep my poor daughter's spirits up, and wondering what was going to happen in the world, I went numb for awhile, but then afterwards fear and depression set in and I could hardly function, everything felt so out of control. So, in the midst of this, I was reminded that I had volunteered to teach a class on something or other at a Women's Relief Society Conference at the Stake Center. This would have been about 3 1/2 weeks after Lacey's accident, and about 2 weeks after 9-11. I DID NOT want to teach the class, but I also felt like I should take my own advice that I had given Lacey to get right back out there, and not wallow in self-pity. So, I decided to go ahead and go. I felt awful! I taught the class, and all I wanted was to go home. But, I was kind of stuck there so I decided to go into one of the mini-classes which was being taught by the Stake President at the time, President Smidt. It was kind of a question and answer class where people could write questions on a piece of paper and submit them anonymously to theStake President and he would answer them. Well, I don't remember exactly what I wrote, but I took a piece of paper and I asked something about, what do you do about being so afraid. I think I rambled on in my question, but the main point was that I was afraid.

I will always remember this. After President Smidt had collected all of the papers with all of the questions, he chose one and read it - it was mine. I think he knew it was mine, not because I had told him, but because he knew about Lacey and I believe the spirit told him it was my question. He looked at the question and said some general-type things that I don't recall very much about, and then he looked directly at me with his piercing crystal-clear blue eyes, and said, "There is not one thing that goes on in this world that Heavenly Father is not in complete control of." And, I don't know - it's hard to explain, but those few little words spoke peace to my heart, and I felt calm and settled for the first time since Lacey's accident. I felt like Heavenly Father was mindful of me and I had just received one of his tender mercies. And I also felt like he was mindful of Lacey and that even though I could not see the purpose or reasoning behind this accident, there WAS a reason and purpose behind it. I realized that I didn't have to be in control, because he was. There is order amidst all of the chaos, and we may not understand, but we will someday. Sometimes we don't know what that purpose is, but our Heavenly Father always does.

What's my point? The point is that I think about this often and it gives me peace. When I think of my son going off to war for the second time, my heart is at peace. I know that Heavenly Father is mindful of him. I have no control, but Heavenly Father does, and my job is to accept that and whatever else comes along and to remember that he is in charge. One of my favorite scriptures is "Be still and know that I am God," or in other words, as I like to say "Take a chill, I got it covered!" So, I can let my boy go off to war and be at peace, and that is something that I am very grateful for! I can accept my daughter's accident and not wonder why it had to happen to her. I can also see the many blessings that have come from that experience. I can accept my dad's illness and be at peace knowing that Heavenly Father is in control and things will work together for our good. I can look at the world around us, with the crumbling morals, and perilous economy and think how fortunate we are to have a prophet who leads and guides us, and counsels us on the things we need to do to prepare. We are not alone! We just have to listen.

So, for my kiddies, I hope you also will have peace in your hearts and know that you are not alone, and that Heavenly Father is in control. Life may not be easy and you may not understand everything, but if you remember that all things happen for a reason and try to stay close to your Heavenly Father through personal prayer and scripture study, you will feel the comfort that only He can give. I love you all - my precious jewels. XXOO Mom

I don't wanna grow up!

Hey there everyone! It's time for another round of absolutely nothing! I really don't lead a very exciting life, but that's okay! I've been busy today trying to get some church work done. I figure if I spend Sunday the way it's supposed to be spent, actually doing church-type things, then I don't need to feel stressed out during the week trying to fit in my regular work/day to day life and the church stuff. Of course you can't always avoid that, but if I get the bulk of the work done, then I don't feel too stressed.

I helped out at a funeral yesterday, an older lady who used to live in our ward. There wasn't a real great turnout for the funeral, but I think that everyone that mattered to this lady was there and that's what's important. I helped out because I'm in the Relief Society presidency now and that is part of what we do. So, after about 4 hours of helping out, including setting things up for the luncheon, attending the funeral, serving the luncheon, and then cleaning everything up, my poor feet hurt!!! Then, being a glutton for punishment I took my poor tootsies out to the mall looking for a few new pieces of clothes because I realized that with spring coming up very quickly, I have NO SPRING clothes to wear, they are all TOO BIG - yeah, I know, poor baby! So, anyway, I traipsed (sp?) all over and found a few things. Have you noticed that you can't find ANYTHING out there that isn't loud and geometrical, and jersey, and babydoll-pregnant looking! What is the freakin' deal with that! I thought for sure they would be "out" this year, but apparently they are still "in." I think what has happened is that people are just tired of not being comfortable, and what is more comfortable than a jersey stretchy blouse which pooches out in the front, so you can let your guts hang out all you want! I don't get it. In my day (yes, I know, the stone ages), women sucked in their guts, actually combed their hair and styled it, hardly ever wore jeans, and wore nylons to "hold everything together!" I always tell my girls that's why I still have a waist at 50, all those years of wearing control top pantyhose and belted pants.

But, I digress. Hmm, what was my point with all of that, I can't recall! Oh yeah, I was trying to find some stuff that would pack without wrinkling for my first official "business trip" on Tuesday. I'm flying down to Boise for municipal clerk training and will be gone until Friday. WAAAHHHHH! I don't wanna go! When did I become a career woman? Yikes, I never wanted it, and I still don't. I am perfectly happy being a secretary, oh, I guess the P.C. term is "Executive Assistant" now. But, I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place because my boss is retiring in about 5 years and she is supposed to be training her replacement and there really is no one else to train but me! So, I just try not to think about it and figure that maybe in five years I will be ready for something new.

Hmm, what else, still missing my little Jace, like always. I can't wait to see him again. My little Jordan and Jayden are so awesome, though, that they make me happy, even though there is an empty place in my heart for the Jacemeister! I need to be taking more pictures, though, because I realized that I haven't been doing that lately and they are growing up so fast. Every minute is precious!

The Big Randoon is sick today. He went out riding his motorcycle yesterday and thinks that maybe he didn't clean out his water pack thingie as well as he should have, and his tummy has been bothering him since last night. I'm not so sure it's that as it is that he hasn't been riding in awhile and it maybe took a lot more out of him that he thought. Time to hit the gym again big time!! :-D

I talked to Joshie today, he sounds really good. He and Stephanie went to the Black Forest this weekend. I am so glad that Stephanie is making him get out and see some sights! They are scheduled to deploy soon. They are all packed up and living out of their "ready boxes" I think is what he said. He can't tell me when they will be deploying, or where, though. Nothing over the phone or the internet! But, he does sound happy. He and Stephanie have been together for I think 9 months now!

Hmm, what else. The world is getting pretty scary, I think. I heard today at church that in the last 10 months the price of wheat has tripled. The long-term effect of that will be, according to the news article that was quoted, that it will affect the cost of over 80% of the things that we buy in the grocery store. That and the gas prices have me feeling just a little nervous. AND, our stupid 401k account has consistently lost money for I don't know how long. We were just this close to 100,000, and then it started losing money, even though we put it 10% of our gross income every month, it is somewhere around 87,000 and has remained in the 80,000's for it seems like the last two years!!!! ARRRRRGGGGHHHH! I know that we are supposed to just leave it alone, but it is sickening to think that the money we are contributing to the account is just disappearing, we aren't even staying steady, we are losing! Where is the almost 10,000 we put in every year going? It makes me ill to even thing about it. I don't know what to do!!! I wish I had a crystal ball that I could look into that would tell me what to do with our money. I want to be smart and everyone says to ride this out, but I'm just so afraid of losing everything!

Whelp, that's about it for me. As I said, alot of nothing! I have pretty much quit on working on the family room for now. I do this every time. I start spending some money on a project and before I know it, the cheap part of me takes over and I start feeling absolutely sick about the money I'm spending and I stop!!! At least the family room looks tons better than it did, and maybe someday when my ship comes in I will have tons of money and not worry about overspending, but for now, I can't take it any more and have reverted back to my penny pincher miserly self for awhile! :-)

Okay, I'm done!

Ooooo, I got new rugs!

Ooo, I'm so excited. I picked up a large area rug and two smaller rugs to scatter about my family room. They are such an EXCELLENT match if I do say so myself! The large rug really anchors the furniture and even though I have putrid blue carpeting, you can at least see where I'm going now! I also have my valances up and I finished painting last night - tonight all I have to do is some touching up of the taupe color here and there, and then put all the paint stuff away for now (I still need to do the doors, but it's too cold to do the garage door because we need to let it stand open for a few days, so the Big Randy said just wait and do them all at once). I did do the trim around them so they just look a little weird, but not horrible. So, today we are probably going to hang some pictures and get things cleaned up a bit. Next is to get another floor lamp, and a cheapo end table and lamp base, and something to put our shoes into, and some silk plants, and etc. etc.!!! It's definitely a work in progress, but you figure I started with nothing, so I've had to get a lot of stuff! We figure if we ever do decide to move and have to pare down, we'll just keep the newer stuff!

But, anyway, I got a LONG email from Josh today and it made me so happy. Although Josh is very bummed about having to deploy again. He said all of the equipment and cars are all packed up and they are just waiting for orders to pack up their rooms. He said Stephanie is even more bummed that he is - she REALLY hates the Army. So, I'm sure it is kind of a sad time for Josh, but I am just looking forward to when he comes back, because then he will be DONE and can get on with his life!

Hmm, what else. Work has been good lately - very busy every day, which is how I llike it! I figure if you have to work, you might as well stay busy and have the day go by faster! I was so happy today, I got to talk to little Jacie and he said, Hi Grammy!!! He is talking so well, it is amazing to me! And Shan said that when he was watching the video of him wrestling with his Papa, that without Shan saying anything about who it was, Jace remembered Randy and said, all excited, "Papa!!" It made Randy feel really good when I told him that!

Can you believe the gas prices! Yikeamolies! I feel so bad for people that are really struggling with their money already. I know I am sure thinking twice about running into town! We went to the Do It Center this evening and I forgot to pick up one of those dark crayons for the scratch on my coffee table, and Randy said why don't you just run back and get it, but I couldn't make myself go, it is such a waste of gas!

Anyway, I've gone on and on about a lot of nothing, so I'll close. When I get the family room picked up and prettified, I'll post some pictures!!

Hmm . . .

Well, I thought I should post another blog, but I can't really think of anything new. Of course, that's the point of a blog - there doesn't have to necessarily be anything new, it's just a bunchof random thoughts and other stuff! Busy day at work today - one of those days that you carry home with you so you come home mentally exhausted. Then the little nubbins were here when I got home because Kelbs was working on a car in our garage, so I got to spend time with them. They are so awesome! I always think of that quote that I heard once that to me totally describes what it is like to be a grandparent - "Grandchildren bring a touch of color to a life that had gone a little gray." Man, that's exactly how it feels! Their little smiles bring sheer joy into your heart. The Big Randy get the biggest kick out of spoiling them too. It's funny, even when they're being bratty they know their Grammy and Papa will let them have whatever they want! And little baby kisses are the greatest. Jayden even gives kisses, although today when I leaned in for a kiss he shoved me away! He just wasn't in the mood I guess! That little boy can sure eat, but just stays so dinky. It's hard to believe he will be 1 year old the end of this month. He looks about 9 months old to me!

The Big Randy hung my curtains today, so now all I need to do to get "caught up" on the family room is finish painting. Then I will kind of move into the "slow acquisition" phase - acquiring accessories, rugs, smaller furniture pieces, etc until the room looks just right. It's not there, yet, but it's coming along! It's kind of cool how the Big Randoon and I have finally fallen into a pattern, I think, of give and take and I feel like we've really been a team lately. I don't know what happened. I used to complain all the time about feeling like I had to do everything around the house, and then I don't know, it's like it finally clicked between us and I do my thing and Randy does his, and we work together. Like Randy does the laundry, and has been folding it also. He washes my car, he cleans up the kitchen occasionally. He sometimes helps with dinner. I just don't feel like I'm doing it all myself - it's like we're working together for the common good. I really appreciate it!

I had an anniversary of my own just about a week ago. Thirty-one years as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints! Wow, a long time ago. And I was thinking to myself the other day that I'm glad I'm still here. Many, many, converts start out strong, and then they peter out, or something happens, or they get offended, or just plain tired. And I have been all of those things, but somehow managed to keep on going, and it is very gratifying to say that I'm still here. I made a commitment to myself when I joined the church that I would stay put, and so far so good. I can honestly say that all of the wonderful blessings that I have in my life I owe to my membership in the church. I have had many opportunities to grow and to stretch my capabilities in areas such as leading and teaching, and organizing, and public speaking, etc., and they have helped me not only in my church service, but also in my life. I have overcome my shyness, well at least partially (do you ever REALLY overcome shyness, I don't think so!), but I have learned to manage and to suck it up and do what needs to be done. It has been a really good thing. So, yay for me, and happy 31st anniversary! :-) I hope and pray that all of my children can say the same thing someday - that they are still here and still strong in the church!